6 Decluttering Questions: Question 4

When you start the process of decluttering and downsizing, you will have to make a lot of decisions to help you sort your things. I recommend asking 6 questions in order to help you make decisions about your items. Today’s blog will cover question 4: Would a family member or friend appreciate the item?

I’m going to be blunt here and cut right to the chase. Unfortunately, the answer to that question is often “no.” Lifestyles and tastes have changed and a lot of our family members are not at all interested in most of our stuff. This can feel very frustrating and sad. But let’s take a step back.

What is behind our desire to give our things to our friends and family members? I think it’s typically 2 things:

1. We want our legacy and our cherished memories to live on with our family members through our possessions.
2. We want our perfectly good things to be used and not just thrown away.

Are there other ways to accomplish these 2 goals? Perhaps. Read on.

Legacy and Memory Preservation

If you want your legacy and cherished memories attached to an item to live on with your family members, consider sharing the stories behind some of your items with the family member you think is the right person to have the item. Maybe that person wasn’t interested initially, but after hearing the story, maybe they will change their mind.

Or you could consider writing down that story and attaching a photo of the item to the story so that your family members can retain the legacy of the item and the associated memory, but don’t have to feel obligated to take an item they don’t really want. Put the stories into a notebook, 3-ring binder, or online scrapbook.

On the flip side, you just might have someone in your family or friend circle who would be overjoyed to take some of your stuff. If that’s the case, this is an easy one! Schedule pick up or delivery once you’ve determined which items would be appropriate to give away in this fashion.

Things could get complicated though if you have more than 1 person who would like an item. How do you decide which person should have it without causing family conflict?

• Monetary Value - Some folks like to keep things fair. Add up the potential monetary value of each item and make sure all your family members are coming away with things of equal value. This may mean that one person gets 3 items and another person only gets 1.
• Lottery - If the interested family members can’t resolve who gets what on their own, you might have to resort to drawing a name out of a hat to make the decision. 
• “Auction” - If there is a lot of conflict and controversy over an item, you might have to resort to selling it to the highest bidder. Have an auction amongst the interested family members and sell the item to the person willing to pay the most for it.

These disputes can get tricky and upsetting. I hope that you won’t have conflict surrounding your things and that everyone just gets along.

Putting Those “Perfectly Good Things” to Use

If people you know are not excited about your stuff, don’t despair! Your friends and family might not be the only option. There are tons of ways to connect your items to someone who would love and appreciate what you have to give. Consider:

• Online Free Sites - These are sites where you can offer up items for free to others in your area.
• Non-profits or 2nd-hand Stores  - Maybe you have a non-profit in your area that helps people move from homelessness to housing who would love your extra mixing bowls or unused twin bed. Or consider donating to a resale shop in the area. 
• The Curb - Things quickly disappear if you just put them near the road. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure!

Enjoy the process of matching your things with the people who will get the most joy and use out of them! This part of the process may look different than you anticipated, but there is still great joy in making those matches and knowing that the usefulness and legacy of your stuff lives on.