Facing Emotions in Downsizing
The top reason that downsizing is so stressful is because we have so many items in our homes that hold sentimental value for us. The thought of getting rid of these types of items can leave us very emotional. Sometimes it’s not even the item itself but the memories associated with it that we don’t want to lose. Also, many of us have owned our homes for decades, and the thought of leaving can be so sad and scary. We understandably fear change and new things.
Emotions are certainly tricky yet they are valid, so we can’t necessarily just dismiss them. Unfortunately though, sometimes when our emotions are big, they can really stop us in our tracks. If we don’t work through them, we may not be able to reach our goals. So, what are some steps we can take to work through our emotions as we move through this process?
Step #1 - Take a step back and look at your emotions from a practical standpoint. Acknowledge that they are there. Take them seriously. Consider writing them down and naming them. Do you feel sadness? Are you angry? Try to observe what affects these emotions are having on your physical body. Do they make you cry? Does your heart rate increase? Do your feelings make you tired? Write down the physical affects your emotions are having on your body as well.
Sadly, I’m a REALTOR®, not a therapist, so I may not have a deep well of professional advice here to help you overcome these emotions, but my hope is that naming them and making sure you have a good sense of exactly what you’re feeling will help you. Remember, these emotions are hard, but they won’t kill you. At least I don’t think anyone wrote “death” down in their list of what the emotions were doing to their physical body… The emotions are big, but you can overcome them and come out on the other side stronger.
Step #2 - Now that you clearly understand WHAT it is you’re feeling, buddy up with someone who is more pragmatic (and not currently downsizing themselves or related to your downsizing process). Talk through your feelings with another person. Sometimes all we need to feel better is just to voice what we’re feeling to another person. This person may give you advice or help you reframe your feelings or they may just listen and tell you you’re not crazy. Either way, talking will help you feel better!
Note: If you feel like you could use professional help with the emotional side of this process, consider connecting with a licensed therapist or a life coach. See my Downsizing Directory > Coaching/Therapy section.
Step #3 - Spin this process in a positive light. Concentrate on the positive benefits of downsizing. Will you feel mentally lighter when you are cleaning, storing, and keeping track of less stuff? Will this process free up your time? Will your home become safer with fewer things in it? Who will benefit from receiving your items? It’s important to imagine and focus on the positive future scenarios after you’ve done the work.
Step #4 - Is this process optional for you? If it is, you are allowed to let your emotions dictate what actions you take. If the process is not optional, remember that the emotion isn’t going to make the reality of your situation go away. You’re going to feel those emotions until you take action. Wouldn’t you rather get to the side of the process where you start to feel better again, rather than sitting in a space where you continue to hurt because you’re procrastinating out of fear of feeling your feelings?
Step #5 - You will get better at the process of working through the emotions as you go along. These decisions and feelings get easier to face and work through the more practice you have. Don’t despair! Once you start rolling with the process, you’ll feel your emotional load lighten, little by little.
Maybe the only emotion you’re feeling is overwhelm at how big the process is. If that describes you, please take a look at my blog on tackling overwhelm and getting started with the process here.
I hope this has been helpful. If you need someone to talk to in order to do Step #2, I’m happy to be a listening ear. Feel free to call anytime or reach out on our website.
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Jess Lex Homes
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