My Kids Don’t Want my Stuff! Now What?

I hear all too often that adult children tell their parents, “When you die, I’m backing a dumpster up to the house and throwing it all away!” It can be a rude awakening when we find out that our kids are not interested in our stuff. The fact is lifestyles and tastes have changed. What was practical in the past, is not necessarily practical anymore. This can feel very frustrating and sad. If giving stuff to your kids was Plan A, what should you do now?

Let’s take a step back and think about this strategically for a moment. What is behind our desire to give our things to our family members? I think it’s typically 2 things:

1. We want our legacy and our cherished memories to live on with our family members through our possessions.
2. We want our perfectly good things to be used and not just thrown away.

Are there other ways to accomplish these 2 goals? Perhaps. Read on.

Legacy and Memory Preservation

If you want your legacy and cherished memories attached to an item to live on with your family members, consider sharing the stories behind some of your items with the family member you think is the right person to have the item. Maybe that person wasn’t interested initially, but after hearing the story, maybe they will change their mind.

Or you could consider writing down that story and attaching a photo of the item to the story so that your family members can retain the legacy of the item and the associated memory but don’t have to feel obligated to take an item they don’t really want. Put the stories into a notebook, 3-ring binder, or online scrapbook.

Putting Those “Perfectly Good Things” to Use

If your family members are not excited about your stuff, don’t despair! There are tons of ways to connect your items to someone who would love and appreciate what you have to give. Consider:

• Online Free Sites - These are sites where you can offer up items for free to others in your area.
• Non-profits or 2nd-hand Stores  - Maybe you have a non-profit in your area that helps people move from homelessness to housing who would love your extra mixing bowls or unused twin bed. Or consider donating to a resale shop in the area. 
• The Curb - Things quickly disappear if you just put them near the road. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure!

Enjoy the process of matching your things with the people who will get the most joy and use out of them! This part of the process may look different than you anticipated, but there is still great joy in making those matches and knowing that the usefulness and legacy of your stuff lives on.